Routine For Families: The Pathway to Calm
One thing that we want for our kids is for them to have a stable atmosphere because research shows that routine and stability help kids to thrive.
Now we are not talking about controlling every second of everyday because kids also need to take time for unstructured play to explore the world around them and discover for themselves; a balance needed. Routines are a must for calm little ones in order for them to feel comfortable enough to discover the world around them. Routines are essential for us as adults, so we don’t constantly feel like pulling out our hair 😉
When I talk about the need for routines, I would be talking about the main events for the day; Mealtimes, nap time or quiet time, time set aside to play with their parent, bedtime, times that they have freedom to explore or unstructured play time.
Weird Oxymoron: What is a good routine?
I feel like a good working routine is completely contradictory of itself. You want structure, times you do certain activities, but you also need to allow for flexibility and surprises to your day. Kids need consistent schedules so they feel comfortable, safe. They know what to expect. It is at this point that kids feel the desire to explore and discover the new and exciting things in their world. Weird… Just me? Okie dokie then.
A consistent schedule help children feel stable in their environment in a way that they probably can’t explain. Having that structure allows them to feel safe enough to take risks. Risks help us discover what we are made of.
A side note, what we as adults consider “safe and secure” does not mean our kids feel the same way. To understand and give children the security they need you have to be willing to think on their level and respect their boundaries. Sometimes circumstances that we deem safe, our children will not. We can’t make children think with our logic because children’s brains aren’t developed yet to do that. We have to come off our high horse in order to allow our children to be successful and trust their instincts.
Where to start
The routine you choose doesn’t really matter as long as it works for your family. What does matter is consistency once you have found what grooves in your home. Then just stand back and watch your child grow and discover who they are. It is an amazing thing to behold.
For us, at the moment, we are in the process of yet another move. It’s hard on us but it is especially hard on our boys because their world, for them, has turned upside down… again. We try to ease the stress by keeping mealtimes, naptimes consistent as possible. We also like to take at least 10 to 15 mins a day to just be with them.
These little steps assist our littles and us to stay grounded and claim a little calm in our lives.
I have noticed my boys handle circumstances so much better when my husband and I have spent that time with them, to play, to read or draw. To let them know that they are still loved, that we see them and they are important to us. That time spent seems to lessen the clingingness our kids exhibit during tough times.
It’s hard sometimes when we are trying to figure things out in our lives to stop and remember that our little ones need us the most during this time. It’s hard to balance taking care of our little ones and giving ourselves a little break.
While they can’t have ALL our attention during a stressful event, a routine that allows time for us to connect with our kids helps them become more resilient to outside stressors.
Why?
Because you show them that they are loved and you are there for them when they need you. Your kids need to know that you don’t find them a burden especially during the hard times that we all must face as parents or just being adults. Because we all need to feel loved.
So remember, it doesn’t necessarily matter what your routine is. What might work for your best friend, neighbor or even that stranger that you read about on the internet might not work for you. That’s okay.
Find that routine that can bring calm to your life, allows time to play with your kids and be there for your loved ones. If it stops working, change it! Don’t be afraid of change.
You can do this!
[mailerlite_form form_id=3]So what routine works for you?
Related Post(s): How to Help Your Kids Go To Bed Early, Importance of Reading For Families
Any thoughts? I would love to hear from you, drop me a comment or message!
